30 for 30 - please validate my list

by my count I am at 24, and the following people haven't done one with me yet: Aunt Geri, Sarah, and Tommy.

I have three events between now and the end of the year, so that will bring me up to 27 and my Aunt Geri will be at one of them.

I am proposing a remote shotgun event - it would go something like this - Sarah and I call each other, each with a Miller Lite and someone to take a picture of us. We then shotgun simultaneously and scream at each other on the phone afterwards.
repeat with Tommy (although I think he might be somewhere in the greater Madison area - I should really call him)

that means I need one more.... ideas?

review of why I would marry R

1) my entire driveway and sidewalk now devoid of snow
2) crisis with a burst water pipe completely quelled
3) after making me cocoa, he started cleaning
4) said cocoa included irish cream and vodka


slight drunkeness makes me love him more.


heavy drunkeness makes me argue with him.

good to know before the wedding.

nice pilot

Here is something that the pilot said to us after landing (a particularly rough and little scary landing):

Just wanted to remind you that the safest part of your journey is over. Please be careful driving home tonight.

Bad mood at work

how I can tell I am in a bad mood at work:
1) typing becomes erratic
2) Backspace becomes REALLY REALLY angry
3) slamming hands on desk after reading an email
4) realizing I have been furrowing my brow for an hour and it won't unfurrow.
5) making angry snarky comments in documents
6) talking to myself in the bathroom "I just don't understand why she sent me that crap document, I mean jeez, I ask for a project plan list and I get this stupid list of questions, wouldn't a normal human being realize that you should put it into a freakin document and include all the steps to figure this out...."
7) emails sent with only the subject line
To: so and so
Subject: Are you going to set up that prep meeting or are you waiting for me to do it?
Body: except for email signature.
8) start deleting tasks even though they really aren't done

me - and my amazing dancing

I have been given a supporting role in a super funny video:
http://tootwisted.blogspot.com/2008/11/just-for-fun-while-cobbler-bakes.html

the Cincinnati airport commuter terminal - what circle of hell are you?

Stuck here at CVG – flight was to leave at 8:50. I would have gotten home at 9:20. Then, it was delayed. Rage! Oh, only to 8:56. Jeez, why do they put that on the board at all?

Sit.

Wait.

Get Qdoba. Pretty good.

Sit.

Look over at big screen. WHAT? Que’?!? (I don’t know the word “what” in any other languages so that was about it) delayed to 11:40! How could this be?

Small freak out.

Realize that still have work to do, so could use the time effectively.

Internet too slow to do much work. Get angry.

Worker bee in me dies.

I am sad.

Get a snackie. Take that customer, you just paid 8 bucks for beef jerky.

Oh, it isn’t the customer’s fault. Feel slightly bad.

Then remember that didn’t get gas for rental car – feel more abashed.

Refocus on my own tragedy. I am stuck in the Cincinnati airport.

Forgot my iPod on this trip and have had to listen to Anderson Cooper OVER and OVER again on the TV.

Still here.

They offered us fresh brewed coffee. Four times. It just annoyed me more.

 

Okay! We are boarding! Wish me well!!!!

obscene banana?

At a work meeting. I look over and my customer counterpart’s banana has a sticker:

POCKET SIZE FUN!

AT

eatchiquita.com

 

I got a weird feeling inside when I read it.

today's song - Fuck me pumps from Amy Winehouse

Not because I am wearing some. Or I am that kind of person. But I do like the song.

saucy and sarcastic, but not so needy

I can just barely keep up with reading blogs when a new one pops up like once a week. This guy on the other hand writes big long (and well thought through) posts at a manic pace. I admit, I fall behind.
however, I wanted to add to his list of actors that we don't like in this post.

mine is Renee Zellwiger (or however you spell it - I don't care enough to look it up)
I don't like her. I will actively avoid things with her in them.

It started well before Bridget Jones, but it really came to head at that point. I loved that book. I am saucy and sarcastic and yet not that fragile (I probably am) and it made me feel like I had a hero who I was better than. - Renee ruined it for me.

side note - I hate movies made from books I have read. with the exception of Breakfast at Tiffany's (where the book and movie diverge so significantly they really aren't the same) I think that all those movies should be burned. I HATE it when I talk about a book and someone says, oh yeah I saw that movie. I then ask, did you read the book? they answer no, but the movie sounds just like that - yes I am sure you did see the movie, but I now think less of you. (I realize this is judgey of me. and I am trying to stop being so judgey. but I can't help it. I am a snob)

This morning - my theme song is Taking the Long Way by the Dixie Chicks.

like a rock

Sometimes the music playing in the car on the way into work becomes my theme song for the day. Sometimes I have to help the process by putting the right CD in.

Today- Bob Seger, Like a Rock

 

That is right people – today I am lean and solid everywhere, my hands are steady, my eyes are clear and bright, I am holding firm to what I think is right….

 

I am a Rock.

 

in case you were sad that you didn't have a quilting blog to read

my aunt started a blog about her quilting trip and I hope that she keeps it updated with more quilting progress.
check it out here: http://dcquilttrip.blogspot.com/

dude.

1) my office mate is funny. but mostly to himself. I spend a great deal of time laughing at him laughing at himself. this makes me laugh.
2) I have a meeting I don't want to prepare for. it is at 2pm. it is currently 130. I should be preparing. I HATE it when people are unprepared for meetings. It makes me want to kick them in the mouth.
I am thinking I need that vacation more than I thought.
3) I am pretty behind in the 30 for 30 thing, except that I was keeping track by composing email blog posts. I might have missed some. please review and let me know if I missed one.
4) feels like there are some key folks that haven't actually shotgunned a beer with me yet (or given it a try) - I would like to call out my brother and Sara (of Lucia y Sara fame) here. and I think I would like to see my aunt Geri try. - anyone else been missed?
5) I hope no one kicks me in the mouth in my next meeting. jesus, I should just stop this post and finish preparing.

another way to avoid working

I woke up this morning not wanting to work. usually this can be cured by large quantities of coffee. not today. sometimes I can fix it by making a list and checking things off. not today.

sometimes I can turn on some music and I really get into a groove. not today.

sometimes that is just how it is.

I think that this is because I leave for vacation tomorrow afternoon.

unfortunately I leave for vacation tomorrow evening and I have some shit to get done!!!

my vacation is probably going to be interrupted by a big monthly report and setting up some phone calls on Thursday. gnnrr.

I have included a picture of myself that I took on another one of those work days when I really didn't want to do anything.

why must I have these days?

which bring up another question - if you were an animal, what animal would you be? you should ask others, we aren't all eagles and lions... I am probably a beaver. (dirty jokes aren't welcome here).

think about it - beavers are known to be:

- industrious

- social

- a keystone species

- fun to be with

other things about beavers from the internet that I think apply:

Wildlife rehabilitators find beavers to be gentle, reasoning beings who enjoy playing practical jokes. An Indian word for "beaver-like" also means "affable."

While other wildlife endure wintertime cold and hunger, beavers stay warm in their lodges with an underwater food cache of branches nearby.

so, what animal would you be?

enjoying myself in the Gem City

and yes, I am still in Dayton, still working every day.
I love these poeple so much.

here is a picture the illustrates how happy I am...

why is it called the Gem City?

good question.

here is what wikipedia says (note, I completely disagree with the slogan, "The Gem City, the Cleanest City in America")

Dayton's primary nickname is the "Gem City". The origin of the name is no
longer clear; it appears to stem either from a well-known racehorse
named "Gem" that hailed from Dayton, or from descriptions of the city likening
it to a gem.

The most likely origin appears to be an 1845 article in the Cincinnati Daily Chronicle newspaper, by an author writing with the byline "T", which read:
In a small bend of the Great Miami River, with canals on the east and south, it can be fairly said, without infringing on the rights of others, that Dayton is the
gem of all our interior towns. It possesses wealth, refinement, enterprise, and
a beautiful country, beautifully developed.[2]

Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872–1906) later acknowledged the nickname in his poem, "Toast to Dayton", which contains this stanza:
She shall ever claim our duty,
For she shines—the brightest gem
That has ever decked with beauty
Dear Ohio's diadem.

Another explanation for the nickname "Gem", is from Dayton's
sister city to the south, Cincinnati. Cincinnati is known as the "Queen City",
and Dayton would be the "Gem" in the queen's crown.

The city was advertised as "The Gem City, the Cleanest City in America" in the 1950s, 60s and into the 70s. The phrase was often seen on public trash cans, and other places throughout the city during this time period. Additionally, Dayton has one of the most consistent street cleaning schedules. Every morning, street cleaners sweep downtown Dayton of any trash from the previous day.

another room count - night time

ah, apparently second shift isn't the time of men I would sleep with.

happily:2, will do: 5, no way: 5

Moses brings plenty for you too

story - big group of work people went out to dinner Wed night. Each person had to come up with a conversation topic.

we had one weird guy.
it was this guy's turn.

after about 5 minutes of weird non-sequiters from him - something about South Dakota, something about going to Milwaukee this weekend, something about a band, something about a movie and a guy named Moses who was going to run for president - finaly, I demanded the topic from him.

his topic: name the movie star you would want to meet

it was then revealed that all of his gibberish previously had been about an actor he had met, Moses Brings Plenty - whose name I kept saying as Moses Pennyworth.

this guy went on about how cool Moses was, how he was the coolest person he had ever met, and he was going to run for president.

My boss was at the table. My boss isn't the type of guy who understands people that don't love UW football or people who think that an independant candidacy for president is legit. the boss kept making faces that indicated he really thought the guy was weird.

Next day, we looked up Moses on the internet. Turns out his homepage is http://www.bringsplenty.com/ - the guy is a completely normal actor, musician, native american, stunt guy, horseback rider, presidential candidate (the candidacy seems to be underwraps right now as it isn't mentioned) - odd, but not as odd as the guy that brought it up at dinner.

then we found this picture:

this is odd.

I saved it to my desktop. Now, me and anyone else near me can laugh hysterically everytime I close all my windows or log in.
while the arms-behind-the-head-pelvis-thrust pose is the funniest part, it keeps making me look at his homemade pants, which are oddly pleated. That is funny too.


here is the picture Moses will probably be using while on the campaign trail:

Can you imagine John McCain in the pelvis thrust pose?

the highlights of Istanbul and inappropriate work conversations

So, my trip next summer to Turkey, Greece and Spain is on as the time off has been approved at work. whoo hoo.

I just got notification and here is my first conversation about it:

Lucia: hey, my trip just got approved!
my boss and customer's director: where are you going?
Lucia: Istanbul, Turkey and Greece and Spain
my boss: Istanbul? What is there to do in Istanbul?
John, customer IT director: oh Turkish Hash!

things starting to look down

Today:

Happily: 2, Will Do: 5, No Way: 8

 

You may notice that things aren’t going so well in here for me today.

This could be because:

1)       Ugly men work on Fridays

2)      I am no longer “lookin for action”

3)      I am getting more selective

4)      More gay men on Fridays

another day in the same room

Perhaps there was a different crowd, but my numbers were a bit different today:

Happily: 5, Will Do: 8, No Way: 5

some stats from a major customer event

You know the game.

Here are the stats from two big meetings at a major customer event I am at.

 

Meeting #1:

Happily: 2 , Will do: 7, No Way: 6

 

Meeting #2:

Happily: 3, Will do: 9, No Way: 10

If you want your wedding...

a new theme - ways to make your wedding trashy

first -get your bridesmaids' dresses at Victoria's Secret.

some faves:

crappy blogger

I have no really good excuse for poor blogging besides being busy with work.

Here is a picture taken last January to remind you of better times.

more procrastinating art

a friend posed this challenge - take some watercolor squiggles and see something.
while my art skills (particularly with Microsoft Paint) are poor, I think I captured something..

pig of happiness

today the pig of happiness is on, but I am not that happy. Let's review what is wrong:
I have too much work to do!
I am in beautiful Portland Oregon and stuck at a crappy Courtyard situated between two empty lots next to an industrial park.
I forgot to grab my good pants before leaving on this trip and the ones I have with me have the pocket bottoms ripped out of them.
I only have one pair of pants with me for three days.
The pants were inside out when I put them into the suitcase and when I turned them rightside out it turns out that they were covered with dog hair. I have no lint brush.

but!
I look pretty cute today.
We are headed to more beautiful parts of Portland today.
I listened to good music today.
I just read Loud's post about maid of honor attendants. I did rock.

thanks, I now feel ready to accept the pig of happiness into my day!

great dog picture

Phinneas J Arbuckle doesn't live with us any more, but I miss him a bit.

blog catch up - spring has sprung dinner

had a dinner party - spring has sprung! this was back in Feb or March - I decorated with plants (including little plants for people to take home with them), a placemat that they could color on, and a voting sheet. This wasn't just an ordinary dinner - it was a competition!
rules - you had to make something for your assigned course. I was completely maxed out in people for my house, so there were two people per course. they had to agree on one wine selection that would go with both of their courses.
Then I had certificates for the winners.
the awards were for best tasting dish, best presentation, best food-wine pairing, and because Whitney looked so sad at the end we added the best overall.
Melissa won for best tasting and best presentation.
I won for best food-wine pairing - funny because Rick got the wine and it was supposed to go with his pork better than my lamb. even I could tell it went really well though...

I made lamb shanks braised with rosemary white beans. the beans didn't get done enough, but it was still tasty.

one of the funnier moments - after the party we cleaned up, and I noticed that Rick's placemat had made it onto the fridge... even after I threw them all away :)

First wedding of the season - success!

The actual wedding was a rousing success! the bride was gorgeous, the bridesmaids beautiful, the groom dashing, and I stayed clear of the groomsmen. A great time!
The highlights - the actual ceremony was hitchfree as I think it should be...
the reception was in a great place - dark and well decorated
the food was appetizer type foods left out all night for snacking
the alcohol was plentiful and good....
the drunkest people earliest: 50+ woman in a full length dress (she may or may not have had a krispy kreme paper hat on at one point), a man we will call Blue Shirt and a man we will call Tight Brown.
pictures to come.

Wedding Day

today is the wedding. I haven't seen the bride since I departed about 3pm yesterday to get Brett and they were preparing to go to the rehearsal and dinner following.
Had a delightful dinner last night - no family, no wedding party, no psycho-ness. Just the satellites.
Then Brett and I tried to get drunk but it wasn't sticking...
so we decided to start before noon today.

We did the see the groom though in a random pass-by in the hotel lobby. he seemed calm.

should be exciting...

moving into Pre-game

Today is the day before the wedding:
1) started day with Krispy Kremes dropped off at the bride's house by the bride's father. So, I should crash from a sugar high in about an hour.
2) slept over at said bride's house after the "impromptu" bachellorette party last night. that party included
- eating bar food
- the bride wearing pink fuck me heels, a very low cut halter, and a penis candy necklace.
- going to the Blind Horse Saloon - where I won a 50 dollar gas card and everyone rode a mechanical bull. I rode in a skirt. the bride rode it 5 times!
- the bride puking and recovering
3) today we are going to a bridal luncheon. there is some stress about who is coming here to the house and who is meeting there and it is an hour before we need to leave and several people haven't showered yet. :)

wedding fun.

wedding one of four - pre-game

I am here in South Carolina for the first wedding of this season (for me). Right now we are in pre-pre-game mode. We are driving up to North Carolina for a family engagement party, then spa tomorrow, "impromptu" bachelorette party tomorrow night, then bridal luncheon on Friday, rehearsal dinner Friday night (or the equivalent dinner for me and other non family members), and then the wedding madness on Saturday. 

My role at this wedding of Loud's sister... basically personal attendant to the maid of honor (Loud). I am keeping her sane. I have no responsibility for the bride's, groom's or anyone else's sanity. 

I am also "the date" of Brett (the dashing fellow that was in my last blog photo, the one with the bourbon). 

note, the North Carolina party is in North Carolina, and we are still sitting here at the bride's house. I feel that we need to leave... like head out... except we are still sitting here. 

relax! everything is fine. :) 

Adventures of Lucia on bike

This year I got a bike. So did Rick. Well, I purchased a bike sized for me and one sized for a man the height of Rick. :)

anyhow, it hasn't taken me long to develop a clear sense of "bike smug"ness. When I am riding my bike I am far superior to all those fossil fuel guzzling bastards. Also, the car jerks never look for us bike riders, how rude.

I am sure this is an overexcitement about my new hobby, but I love it.

Don't breathe into the phone!

This guy just called me at work and asked me some questions.
that is fine.
What is NOT fine is that he breathed heavily into the phone the entire time. I couldn't hold the phone near my ear it was that gross.

Business advice, if you are breathing heavily, put your phone on speaker, or mute, or cover the freaking thing. Don't breathe into my ear.

Way to make your life better

Here is my recommendation for making your day just a little bit better -
1) get a Google homepage of your own.
2) apply an artist theme
3) pick the Edward Monkton one.

today's page - The Pig of Happiness (who is this adorable pig with a big smile)

May his JOYFUL SMILE

remind us how much there is

to be HAPPY about

yes! the pig! yes!!!! I am happy.

I lost my mojo

if you have seen it, or if you would like to help with the search party please contact me.
Also, if you search for picture mojo you will find a bunch of odd things, but not my mojo.

stern conversation

I want to have a stern conversation with the weather. It is unfair and rude to give Madison good weather while I am out of town and then give me thunderstorms when I return. Middle finger to you weather.

I doubt nutritional value in white things

I had cauliflower on my salad today. I stopped to think about it and I just don't believe there is much goodness packed into cauliflower. You can't make nutrients white. This is ridiculous, but I can't help this gut reaction.

they are lying to us about the value of cauliflower.

odd phenomenon

In a work meeting right now. Two girls with engagement looking rings on their right hand ring fingers.

 

Possible reasons:

1)       Left hand ring fingers both happen to be tired.

2)      Both ladies angrily not engaged any more but refused to return ring and wear it as a sign of their anger.

3)      High set solitaires are no longer only appropriate for engagement rings.

 

please read vacation blog

and give my mother some encouraging comments.
new bloggers need the love.

plus, we are braving some crazy internet cafes.

Read all about the vacation

My mother is going to be introduced to the Blogging World... we will be co-authoring the Vacation Without Regrets blog.

Right now it is fairly ugly and plain, but I just spent several days feverishly typing away so I could break loose and take a vacation. No need to stress myself out about a recreational computer based activity now. And, you can bet that about a week into this vacation I will have a deep longing for more computer time.

off to sleep!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I am going on vacation. tomorrow morning. early.

Costa Rica. again. with my mother.
I will keep you posted.

odd things to hear in the airport

Sure, in this new world of Bluetooth headsets it is uncommon to catch someone’s conversation inadvertently. I can’t help it, if you scream something as I walk by and no one else is within 5 yards of us, I take it personal.

Anyhow – an odd thing I heard on Friday: the word hubris used. Correctly. Twice.

Odd.

 

The lady next to me on the plane Friday was reading a Bobby Flay cookbook.

Number 1, I have never seen anyone read a cookbook on a plane before.

Number 2, she has a LOT of perfume on. Of course this is far superior to the large man with BO problem, but still.

Number 3, one of my man picks for the island is Anthony Bourdain and he HATES Bobby Flay. I sort of like Bobby Flay, but of course I will side with my man Anthony. This isn’t because he is a man and I am not. Nor is it because we are on an island and we shouldn’t argue. Sometimes we will need angry sex on the island to change it up, so arguments are good. I just assume that since both are in the culinary world they must have met and he must know something I don’t.

 

Other random thoughts that I might as well put into this post. 

I can spend all of my “do-er-ness” in a two day binge and then be task-light for the next two days. I should spread it out a bit. Of course, now that I have put this in writing I will have a monstrous amount of work dumped on me and I will never have a light day again.

 

Congratulations to Sara, Master of her Domain... in a non-Seinfeld sense.

Thanks Sara! And we all look forward to the amazing things you will be doing in the field considering the meteoric path you are currently on.

Now back to regular scheduled programming.

one last jab

A little P.S. on my last post-- the obnoxious coworker I mentioned just called my supervisor, who is out sick, to tell her my news. How heinous is that??

I'm kind of a big deal.

6:30 am: aforementioned call from SSPP (did I mention full funding, no legwork required? Yes, 11frogs, there is a Santa Claus.)
6:35 am: received aforementioned email from Putter-Together, actually sent at 1am from the director's personal email account
7:35 am: call from "$600 in Manhattan" offering admission. Ever the diplomat, I thanked her kindly for the offer but explained that from a strictly financial perspective, I could not possibly decline SSPP's offer. She got a little New York curt with me, but that's just those New Yorkers' way of showing they care.
7:45 am: "$600 from Manhattan" called back to ask me my ethnicity, hoping to be able to get me one of their two minority scholarships for 50% tuition. I told her that it wouldn't affect my decision anyway but in retrospect, I should have asked her to pursue it. It makes me chuckle to imagine her arguing that an Indian deserves a minority scholarship to the medical school. If she could have lined that up, that would have been a feat worthy of my acceptance.
7:47 am: missed a call from "Your Welcome". I left a long, rambling voicemail message in return, praising the director, the program, the students, the town (some of you may know it)... and declined the offer.
8:30 am: Knockout called, and it gave me heart palpitations to see her number on my cell. I know what we need is closure, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Over the phone just seems so harsh. She was very understanding, told me to take as much time as I need to think things through and make sure I make the right decision. I don't deserve her.
8:40 am: OC called and said they hope they can "entice" me to choose their program. Mmm, wonder what that meant.
8:50 am: My student contact from SSPP called to congratulate me and see if I had any questions. These little details make me feel special. It makes a difference.
9:00 am: Arrived at work and was showered with attention, including from the loud, annoying, middle-aged coworker whom I would blog about incessantly if I did this on a regular basis. She then proceeded to spread the news-- typical of her-- completely violating gossip protocol by doing this within earshot of me. But I don't care because she is in a deadend job with a crappy marriage and bratty young son, whereas I am... kind of a big deal.
Thanks, Lucia. It's been real.

tell me I was dreaming

In the 4 hrs of sleep I managed to allow myself last night, I dreamt that I was accepted to SSPP (dream school) but I answered the phone groggy, with a froggy (Kermit?) voice, and asked the director to hold on for 30 seconds while I woke myself up. She practically rescinded the offer.

In real life, I woke up at 4:40am groggy and assuming 20 minutes until the first call. Like, surely East Coast directors have been dreaming of me for the past 3 months and biding their time until 8am EST on May 2. I have been a bit cocky in this process since being told I'm a good application-putter-together.

By 6:30 I had worked out the froggy voice and decided to move onto other morning activities that use my mouth. As I spit the last toothpaste residue from my mouth (this is another reason I don't blog. Who wants to know this minutiae?), the phone rang. I didn't recognize the area code so I figured it was "Graduate Housing for $600 a Month" (the only other East Coast school that would be calling). But hark the herald angels sing-- it's the "SSPP" director calling from her cell phone. She apologizes for waking me up and tells me she is delighted to offer me a position! The admissions committee all thought I would be a great fit! (And, I think, that works for me because your MD and PhD programs are so highly esteemed.) She said she had been trying to hold off on calling me until a reasonable hour. I think she was trying to make me sweat. Playing hard to get-- another quality I like in men and grad schools.

When I logged on to Gmail to blog, I saw the acceptance email from "Putter-Together" and frankly, I scoffed.  It's not even personalized; it's one of those "Dear Candidate" emails.  The next steps feel rather anticlimactic from my high horse. If and when I have to reject the "Knockout" offer for the more lucrative and equal caliber SSPP offer, that will be what hurts me inside. It's not you, KO... but it's not me either. It's just all about the Benjamins.

It looks as though we will be making an early return to your regularly scheduled Lucia programming. 

off-the-charts nervous

Thanks for the warm welcome, Lucia! So now I am faced with a ticking time bomb of grad school decisions and the pressure to be funny enough to justify my guest appearance here. I am off-the-charts nervous, but I just imagined you naked, and it helped a little bit.

My program isn't like your program. Here are some key features:

• 25 programs across the country, each of which takes between 4 and 6 students each year
• approximately five Y chromosomes in the entire profession
• we're not going to be MDs or PhDs (this is a sore spot) but we'll have to work as hard as them for the next two years, starting with the interview process
• no clear hierarchy among the programs; applicants are encouraged to find "the best fit" for them during the interviews. I preferred to create my hierarchy based on the strength of the MD and PhD programs.

Interviews took me to six schools, nicknamed as follows:

1. "Your welcome"-- perfectly good program. Current students were nice and helpful. Wonderful, supportive director. However, the director tragically responded to my post-interview Thank You email with a two word reply: "Your welcome." Now, I imagine that certain readers may already have noted several grammatical errors in this post. But this director lady misspelled 50% of her correspondence! That is how I will make myself feel better if Your Welcome says No, Thanks to my application.
2. "Smart, Sexy, P, P!"-- smart, sexy, and all about public policy. Or... OK, this is why I don't blog. Because this story should not be told to an audience of unknown size and composition. So here goes. This school wooed its applicants, made us feel elite, wined and dined us (black bean fajitas) the night before the interview. And I was off-the-charts nervous then too (and didn't meet the interviewer who I wanted to imagine naked until late afternoon). 10 minutes before my first interview of the day, I think maybe I should make a quick run to the ladies'. And... I clog the toilet. Holy crap where is the plunger. Must be in the closet that is, thank god, within the bathroom. Closet door is locked. Holy crap 8 minutes until my first interview at my dream school and I have clogged the only toilet on this entire floor. Quick review of my options: a) walk away and pretend I didn't do it and pray no one is waiting outside, b) tell the administrative assistant what happened and hope she isn't tight with the interviewers, c) try to simulate plunger action without a plunger. Option C was ruled out first, but not as quickly as you might hope, because I was wearing a suit and needed to be presentable in about 6 minutes. Mildly disturbing that these were the only 2 reasons that led me to rule it out at the time. I went with Option B, and I think it was the right choice. The admin asst was perfectly discreet and I arrived on time, smelling like roses, for my first interview. So that's "Smart, Sexy, and Plunger, Please!"
3. "Putter-together": Perfectly OK program; probably the closest thing to a safety school that I have. The director spent the first 2 minutes of the interview showering me with praise such as "you're a great application-putter-together." I kind of tuned out the rest.
4. "Graduate housing in Manhattan for $600 a month"-- I guess there might be some classes or something involved too. My third choice.
5. "KO"-- Knockout. Amazing. Smart, sexy, young, promising. These adjectives describe the program, its director, and my ideal man. But this is a man that wouldn't pay for me, whereas #2 would. So KO is my second choice.
6. "OC"- Perfectly ok program, fabulous directors, too close to home. 

The acceptance process is kind of like for MDs, but better. Starting Friday morning (eek- today!) schools start calling everyone on their acceptance list and wait list. Lucky to be on the West Coast... if all goes well, I'll be getting at least one wake-up call at 5 or 6am from the East Coast. Applicants have to make their decisions by next Wednesday. So the next 5 days will be chaos in my little world as applicants turn down offers from places like #3 in favor of sexier options and directors continue to call as wait lists change. 

Will blog as real-time as an overbearing boss permits. 

guest blogger: Sara of Sara y Lucia fame - Graduate School Live Blogging!

Sara, of last year's Costa Rican trip blogging duo, is currently applying to graduate schools. Well, she has applied and interviewed.
now it is response time!
Apparently folks in her program are super civil and across all of the country, they announce who they are extending offers to on May 2nd. So, tomorrow she is going to be getting random calls from schools about their offers or waitlists... I am so excited, I can't even imagine her level of excitement.

I have invited Sara to be a special guest blogger here. I recommend she give each school fun nicknames and then give us some status updates...
like the "Smart, Unsexy, but all about public policy school", etc.

please welcome Sara!

I like a good conversation topic

you probably do too.

they pass time when you are in a situation without constant entertainment. I like to turn my TV off every now and then, so conversation topics are useful.

some good ones:
what is the greatest scientific invention?
- note, this one has a tendency to wander off topic into the definition of scientific invention and the necessity of one invention for another. you end up with the plow or some other simple tool that created the time/space/beginning for other inventions. barely anyone chooses nuclear reactors. we think old ideas are better than new ideas. But, importantly, if your conversation goes off the initial topic, that is OKAY! the purpose of a conversation is to talk and listen, in turn. you should be interested in the things being said to you and have something to say in response. if you don't, then you should change the topic to something that you do have responses for. If you can't think of anything that you could converse about, then you should depart. Those of us with conversing skills need skilled others to be with us. you are taking up space in our conversation circle.
Are we ready for a major disaster to strike?
- a good conversation topic will bring up other topics, like what sorts of things do I need for a disaster? What is a likely disaster for my area? what would happen if we got hit with a freak tsunami instead? Which dog would we eat first? that sort of thing.

conversation topics can involve a suspension of belief, like when you go to see a play and you have to pretend like the people in front of you are actually 1930's era New Yorkers. A good example of a conversation topic that requires some suspension of belief is
What will we do when the zombie apocalypse comes? should we run or should we hunker down to defend?
- if involved in a suspension of belief conversation it is only polite to take the topic seriously, but don't be contrary. for instance, when the question gets posed: how fast do you think zombies can run? this is important to the fight or flight discussion, try to put some thought into it. don't be a jackass and make fun of the topic by smartassing back that a zombie runs as fast as a zombie can do anything, which is not at all because they don't exist. you, my friend, are no fun and not a good conversationalist. I hope you are front and center when the zombie apocalypse starts.

tagged

I got tagged by Jobonga.

6 random things about me:
1) when I drop something plastic I say, out loud, "thank god for plastics" - I don't know why.
2) more than 15 minutes of my day is spent thinking about caffeine acquisition. that is just the thinking time.
3) I have thought about becoming a combination spoken word/stand up comedian - I would just tell stories.
4) I go lengthy stretches of time wanting to eat only one kind of food - cinnamon pop tarts, scrambled eggs, spaghettios at room temperature, and spaghetti are some examples from my past.
5) my brain seems to be wired wrong for the colors/words Green and Orange. When I see orange I know what color it is, but green will pop out of my mouth. it primarily happens in that direction, but it has happened with me calling green orange.
6) I can't understand Young Earth Creationists. the link is just one example, there are plenty of others. I can understand pro-life arguments, even though I am strongly opposed. I can understand the belief in God, even though I am an atheist. But, for some reason, (that reason likely being that it is illogical and yet tries to position itself in the field of logical science therefore exposes itself so quickly as illogical), I can't understand what they are thinking.

the summary on my Madison.com RSS feed said this:

Cow-hitting good Samaritan arrested for OWI
from madison.com - RSS by TCT: Bill Novak
Helen McCollum says she was just trying to help a guy staggering down the
highway after hitting a cow in the middle of the road.Instead, she was arrested
on a drunken driving charge after hitting the same cow."I was helping this guy
and I was busted," McCollum called The Capital Times to say today. "This is why
people don't stop and help others anymore."

you can see why I had to click and read the entire article. It actually impressed me how confusing they made this paragraph... there is all sorts of chaos about!

The full story is worth checking out:
http://www.madison.com/tct/mad/topstories//index.php?ntid=283034

I have a lot of questions/comments/concerns/giggle-inducing-thoughts about this story:

1) are you surprised at the lack of journalistic quality in the article? Why are we including ridiculous comments from Helen about her dad dying and not even including the requisite: "Dane county sheriff's office refused to comment about an on-going investigation"?

2) Helen, come on now. We all know what a "glass of Dr. McGillicutty's" (pardon the spelling) is about lady! it is only 48 proof, but nevertheless, a glass of it is a bit more than a beer.

3) what is the deal with the "staggering man"? where is he now? was he drunk too?

4) I keep picturing the cow, car, airbag, man, helen situation. I drew a picture:

if you were wondering, the owl and squirrel are observiing and commenting on what idiots these people are.

podcast recommendations

I did this before here. And now Jobonga is asking for podcast recommendations. I am sort of an expert having 48 subscriptions. Here are mine:
Funny that 11 Frogs pointed out Radio Lab, I really like it.
for free fiction -the best is certainly the 7th Son trilogy by JC Hutchins. However, I also like Scott Sigler. Ancestor, Earthcore and Infection were really good free books.
I listen to the Cato Daily Podcast, but Jobonga, with your hatred for all things libertarian (well meaning jest, I assure you), you might not appreciate it.
I have some really cool college courses - GEO 10: World Regions, Peoples and States, and then also have History 132 (I may or may not have fallen in love with the professor on this one. In the last podcast he reveals a child... gnnnr)
I like Knit Picks, but this is best for falling asleep to.
I love PRI: Selected Shorts - less so: The New Yorker: Fiction
Ooo, a fun 10 min one is Oxford Biographies - people that have shaped all walks of British life.
The Thomas Jefferson hour - for when you find yourself wondering What Would Thomas Do?
Travel with Rick Steves
another cool fiction one is WrightTales: FairyTales for adults.

hairy necks

The guy sitting next to me at this meeting has a hairy neck. Front and back.
I think you are probably familiar with men with the back-of-the-neck hair. His is fairly normal for men that have this problem. The amount of hair isn’t overwhelming or curling over his collar or anything.

The remarkable thing is the front –his beard stubble (beyond stubble, mostly 1cm long hair) is growing right down his collar and I am assuming right into his chest hair.

He has a line about an inch wide of hairless skin on his neck.

This was yesterday’s meeting: I attempted to get a picture and am posting it here. My camera would have been way too obvious, so I used my phone. Not the greatest, for sure.

This may lead you to ask, which guy is this? is he one of the 2 that made it into the super category or just the okay category? I will let you guess.

today's meeting - 4/4/0

3 of the 4 men in the room are the same as yesterday’s meeting, including the 2 that I would vigorously sleep with. I downgraded one of the guys based on his super boringness at the basketball game last night and the other for being a bragger workaholic.

You know, those people that tell you about how they work until 2am each night and how many hours they put in? blah blah.

Dude, have a drink and shut up.

"Sometimes I think you should marry young", my mother told me

and 11Frogs' post: http://wittyrepartee.blogspot.com/2008/04/why-all-good-ones-are-taken.html proves this is true using game theory.

I also declared this true to R the other day: I am too set in my ways now. It might be too late for me to concede any of my living decisions to someone else.

Lucia's way of occupying herself in meetings

Sometimes I get bored in meetings. This is true in only about 10-20% of my meetings, but since my entire life is lived in meetings, it happens often enough.

To occupy myself I have some strategies:

1)       Rewrite my tasks/notes from previous meetings – I use this strategy when I just have my notebook and can’t open my computer.

2)      Play with the font and templates on my OneNote notebook. The benefit to this is that I can do this in between actually taking notes.

3)      Take a census of the room as to who I would sleep with. I have developed a system for this:

a.       I only count men, typically. If there is some woman that I really think I would sleep with then I put that as an addendum.

b.      There are three numbers – for instance, this meeting is a 4/4/2.

c.       The first number is the denominator of the equation – the total number of men in the room. (why do I put this number first in my documentation? Because that is the first thing I count)

d.      The second number is the numerator for the fraction of men I would sleep with.

e.       The third number is the numerator for the fraction of men that I would happily/vigorously sleep with. (why do I use the term vigorously… it seems creepy. I agree, but I guess I mean, I would be really into it with the second group. The first group, I would do it, but I wouldn’t really care.)  

What is great about the #/#/# activity to distract me – I can do it during the meeting and still look like I care about the meeting, and it really distracts me from my boredom.

a hug

I haven’t been going to my own blog very often lately. I even post directly from my email. Something to do with the bad mood and the transition from winter to spring I think.

Anyhow, I just caught up on comments. Someone I don’t know left me a comment (which I adore!!!) and they ended it with the conclusion: a hug.

 

At first, I was taken aback. A hug? Really? I don’t know you. In person I am not a hugger. A girl just told me in the parking garage at work that her boyfriend proposed this past weekend, I squealed and hugged her. I have to tell you, I felt I was just playing the part. I don’t really like to hug people.

But, now in retrospect, I am very pleased with the concluding statement: a hug. Even from a stranger. Perhaps it is easier for me in written communication than in person.

A hug,

Lucia

 

 

tulips and poop

Remember my blog post last fall about all the bulb craziness I got involved in? yesterday I was out in the backyard surveying the dogpoop situation and noticed that the ones under my bedroom window are popping up gangbusters. Even through a last snowpile!

 

P.S. the aforementioned situation is dire. And, the ground freeze seems to have broken the lid on my doggie dooley (dog poop septic system)

taking pictures of people - hard to capture ugly ass pants and thong at work

It is hard to make it casual and unapparent that you are taking a picture of someone in a poor outfit choice. Particularly at work. Like this morning – I was in a business meeting and a girl was giving the presentation:

She was wearing a cheap acrylic boucle’ cropped sweater in chocolate brown and then white sweatpant material pants (the top of these was like those yoga pants (wide band) and the bottoms were hemmed straight legs), clearly with a thong, and then heavy, ugly, cheap, brown shoes.  – overall these pants were the aberration to her outfit. They were 1) inappropriate to the season, being clearly summer pants 2) inappropriate in a business meeting, being sweatpant material 3) incongruous with the rest of the outfit, being all cheap, heavy, ugly and brown.

 

To top this horrible outfit off, in the 15 minutes she talked, she used “umm” 37 times. I kept a tally in my notebook. I would like to pull her aside tonight and give her this “feedback”. I know that this wouldn’t be taken well – when is “feedback” ever taken well? – and I want to do it only out of malice for her ugly ass pants.

Should I?

 

class rings on non high school students

What is your stance on high school class rings on people not currently in high school?

 

To me it is so blatantly odd, I wonder, is it some secret indication to others?

in a bad mood

for the past day or so I have been in a bad mood.
Contributing factors:
1) it was my 6th week in a row traveling and my 9th week traveling this year. (note, we have only had 11 weeks this year)
2) I discovered my crush from afar is gay.
3) For some reason I am feeling unfunny and uncharming. This can either be because I am in a bad mood or a cause of the bad mood, I don't know.
4) some less than competant people at work have been making more work for me. I can't figure out how to mentor them into competant. This makes me feel incompetant.
5) the IRS sent me a mysterious letter that just says I owe them (no amount or reference information) and that unless I call within 5 days of receipt (post marked 2-29, so I am already screwed) they will garnish my wages. I am utterly confused and I hate this sort of stuff.
6) I spent 45 minutes on the phone today trying to get through to said IRS, but no luck. I still don't know what is wrong. I don't owe any money.... gnnnrr.

Okay, we established I am in a bad mood, what can be done to remove said bad mood?
What I would normally do:
1) hang out with friends, complain and laugh hysterically
- this is complicated by numbers 1 and 3. I am out of town and I feel unfun. This means I am too tired, too far away and reluctant to actually do anything.
2) buy something
- I don't seem to want to. And number 5 is freaking me out about money.
3) do my favorite Saturday activity to perk me up - take dogs hiking for a long time, and then get coffee at my favorite yarn store.
- the issue here is that there is still soooo much ice covered snow on the ground in Madison that hiking is sort of out. I tried last weekend and I slipped all over the place. I ended up having to slowly move along and one dog pulled something in his leg on the ice. I like to work up a good head on the trail, so it doesn't sound like fun to try to skate along.

So, my question to you is, what do you do to get yourself out of a bad mood?

Days 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15

The rest of the carb limiting went fine. I stopped posting because I couldn't deal with posting such boring material. I like to come to my blog and read it and laugh. I am so funny and cute. Ah, not those posts. super boring.
There were some close calls, like deep fat fried cheese curds, cheese and bacon covered french fries, and a hangover day where I went to the grocery store with a hangover. well, honestly, I was still drunk. Shopping while hungry gets a lot of press, but believe me, you don't make good choices when hungover/drunk either.

I noticed some patterns. Excellent for avoiding bad situations:
1) breading on deep fat fried things - my number 1 culprit of carbs. I though that my biggest problem was sweets. I don't crave salty things. I do love me some cookies/donuts/pastries, but you can really avoid them. You just stay away from bakeries and that entire section of the grocery store. But, for some reason breading sneaks in on me regularly. I debread some on my plate, but the breading is so delicious... it breaks me down.
Lesson here: If I want to be good to myself, deep fried things are a bigger enemy than sweets. Particularly because I usually feel bad after eating sweets, but don't feel bad after mozzarella sticks.
2) I have to count and keep track all day. Going with a gut feel is no good. All the things with 1 and 2 carbs, seem so inconsequential, but there you are at 3pm, you are feeling great about your day, but like 10 of your day's carbs are gone! -
Lesson here: I lie to myself. having to write everything down kept me honest.
3) I found my daily carb posting necessary, but felt that you, my audience, must be getting bored. I just didn't have enough carb funniness. not my fault. carbs (or the lack of them) just aren't common comedic material.
Lesson here: perhaps I will start a completely separate blog or just email someone, or do the Stickk.com thing to keep me honest and
4) I lost 5 pounds over the 15 days. This is pretty good since my physical activity was pretty much: trotting through airports, two dog training sessions and one Irish dance class. not triathalon training, that is for sure.
Lesson here: I should keep doing this.
5) I don't seem to want to eat carbs when I can and I do when I can't - for instance, I allowed myself to eat whatever carbs I wanted on day 12 since I knew I was doing a special dinner thing that night. Turns out, I didn't even want anything bad all morning. I happened to be full. However, right now (yes, I am still doing it) I just spent 10 minutes thinking about a Mrs. Field's cookie with a mountain of frosting on it. If I walked over there, I wouldn't even get it.
Lesson here: have allocated carb freedom time each week. This will allow me to eat things that are driving me nuts, or at least tell myself the rest of the week that I will have it during the off time, but I likely won't even eat it then.

Overall, it was a success. In addition to proving to myself that I can do it, I lost some weight and got myself back into the swing of it. I always notice a marked improvement in energy/attitude when I stay far away from sugar and white flour, and this time is no different.

Day 8 Wed - how to Party Bus Again!

Breakfast – 2, Lunch –3, Dinner –4

Missed Carb Opportunities:

·          Today is my travel home day. Sometimes my dinner on the trip back is whatever the NWA Worldclub offers. They don’t have a wide variety – string cheese, cheddar cheese, crackers, cookies (I think these cookies are hard and not worth my carb-lust), and fruit. I had three string cheese and one cheddar cheese. They stopped carrying the really good cheddar cheese (Cabot – from Vermont, but still delightful), the new stuff is just so-so.  

·         The Worldclub does have a nice cappuccino machine. But milk is high in carbs.

Interesting things for you to know:

I discovered this website: www.Stickk.com – the gimmick is that you make a commitment and then you also put money down on it. You can choose to pledge money to a charity that you don’t want to donate to, or a foe (you can also give money to a charity you like or a friend). If you don’t report in every week or don’t meet your week’s goal they send a part of your money to the pledge. If you make it to the end of your pledge they send your money back to you. – This seems like a better way to do these challenges. Rather than reporting out to you, maybe we should put money on it.

I was thinking that I might continue this carb limiting thing and put up some money to be used for a party bus adventure if I don’t make it… perhaps others would be willing to do so as well? We could have a large party bus fund if everyone found something they wanted to commit to (and failed, but let’s not mention the failure part). If we make it, then we have the party bus adventure to celebrate (and we get our money back from Stickk to pay for it!)

Take a picture of your dumb ass kid

http://www.photobasement.com/41-hilarious-science-fair-experiments/
Building upon my previous post about how our children must not being doing much learning during the day.
But, these made me laugh.
and, I have great confidence in our country's future powerpoint presentation creators. These kids know how to capture your interest!

Day 7, Tuesday - on site - corn fritters nearly got me!!!!

Breakfast – 5, Lunch – 5, Dinner – questionable… but likely under 10.

Missed Carb Opportunities:

·         Bagels in early morning meeting. I like the cinnamon crunch covered ones a lot.

·         Truffles in early afternoon meeting. Why do they keep trying to feed me here? I am seeing a trend.

Interesting things for you to know:

1)      I actually like beef jerky.

2)      Other people don’t like beef jerky.

3)      This means they won’t steal it from you.

Day Summary:

I nearly freaked out because I ate an entire corn fritter at dinner and breakfast and lunch added up to 10. I only had 10 left! But, then I realized that I didn’t have any other carbs for dinner, so maybe it was okay. We would have to calculate it out- the fritter I ate was only 1.5 inches in diameter.

Step 1 – find recipes for corn fritters and figure out the carb count for a single 1.5 in diameter fritter.

 

This one says serves 6, but I can’t imagine it only makes 6 fritters…

3 eggs, beaten
2 cups crushed corn
2 tbsp. milk
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tbsp. melted butter
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 1/4 c. flour, approx
Oil for deep frying

 

This one says it makes 1 dozen small fritters, but the first recipe seems more like the one I ate.

1 egg
1/4 c. milk
1/2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 can drained corn
1/2 tsp. baking powder

 

I am estimating that they used the first recipe, but it makes 3 dozen small fritters. That is 6 per person and seems reasonable I guess.

Step 2 – calculate the carbs in the whole recipe = 185.2

3 eggs, beaten  - 1.5
2 cups crushed corn - 62
2 tbsp. milk – 1.4
1 tsp. baking powder – 1.3
1 tbsp. melted butter -0
1/2 tsp. salt - 0
1/2 tsp. pepper - 0
1 1/4 c. flour, approx 119
Oil for deep frying -0

 

Step 3 – total carbs in 1 fritter: 5.1

 

Step 4 – sigh with relief. Then be anxious again because that recipe can’t make 36 fritters, it doesn’t seem big enough. Augh. Well, even if it only made 18 fritters I was still very close if not under my 10 carb limit for dinner.

Morality of atoms... what????

http://www.madison.com/tct/mad/topstories//index.php?ntid=274336

this kind of thing bothers me, and makes me want to send a check to the Freedom from Religion organization (headquarters, Madison, WI), or some sort of group to finally educate the idiots of this country about science. - while on this rant, I want to mention that on my Cato Daily podcast I heard about how two different international education studies have shown the US once again in the middle to bottom of the pack. Decreases during the No Child Left Behind program have been seen. I refuse to believe our children are dumb. We need to stop acting like math and science are hard. Hell, our kids are obese, so they must not be spending their time in PE, and the media talks all the time about cutting music and art programs... where the hell are these kids all day?

the gist of the article is in these paragraphs:

Nanotechnology is a branch of science and engineering devoted to the design and
production of materials, structures, devices and circuits at the tiniest
possible scale, typically in the realm of individual atoms and
molecules.
Scientists see huge potential for advances in computers, medicine
and many other fields.
But the survey of 1,015 adult residents of the United
States found that only 29.5 percent found that nanotechnology was morally
acceptable.

umm, nanotechnology is just putting atoms together into small structures. very small instead of the size you can see unaided. What do these people think plastic is? Do they have a moral objection to their tupperware?

gnnrr.

Day 6 Monday - 14 carbs

Breakfast – 5, Lunch – 0, Dinner – 9

Missed Carb Opportunities:

· I am on another trip and I couldn’t get my favorite room service dish: calamari. Because of the breading. Sigh.

Interesting things for you to know:

Nothing today

Day Summary:

Traveling is hard. You have to plan ahead, otherwise some ill advised airport food will sneak up on you.

rape is off the list

I had a nightmare last night about raping someone. No good.

I am taking rape off the list.

But, I will still be shooting someone. I guess.

Day 5 - Just didn't eat that much - 17 carbs

Breakfast – 2, Lunch – 0, Dinner – 15

Missed Carb Opportunities:

· None, I was great!

Interesting things for you to know:

1) Prunes have a lot of carbs. Dried fruit in general does. Why was I eating prunes? Perhaps I was trialing some TopChef style meals. What I learned – Braising is good. Prunes and Bourbon over lamb is just okay.

Day Summary:

Those prunes put me higher than I would have liked. But, you will notice I made it successfully to day 5 and feeling fine!

Day 4 Saturday- close! - 19 carbs

Breakfast –2 , Lunch – 17, Dinner – 0

Missed Carb Opportunities:

· Bockfest at Capital Brewery. I had about 5 oz of the Blonde Dopplebock beer. It wasn’t that great, but I still would have liked to drink it all. Plus more beer. Lots more beer. Thanks to Ding88 for finishing most of my beer.

· Cheeseburger in Paradise – Ding88 and my post Bockfest lunch destination. I would have liked to have fries, breading on deep fried pickles, and the hamburger bun. Oh, and ketchup.

Interesting things for you to know:

1) Ketchup has lots of high fructose corn syrup. Beware.

Day Summary:

I skipped dinner to make this count. My rumbley-tummy wasn’t too much trouble.

Day 3 Friday - carbs: 18

breakfast: 3, lunch: 0, dinner: 15
I ate dinner at Samba, the new Brazilian style steakhouse in Madison. It was fun. Most of these carbs came from wine. a very delicious muscat.
different than a muscrat.
which would have been 0 carbs.

My day without consequences

Per the Essay Tuesday administrator: Today I have no consequences.
I hate to even tell you what I immediately thought of doing. I have known for a while now, actually since the day the topic was published, but I didn't want to admit it to all of you.
I have to come clean.
I am going to kill people and possibly rape women.
I am horrible. just horrible.
I will also probably finish the day with several Pecanbons from Cinnabon because I love them.

How will I kill people? Well, let's be honest, no need to hide the evidence. In my day without consequences it is as if my actions never happened once we get to tomorrow. So, let's do it up.
1) I spend the morning learning how to fire R's gun. I do this by shooting out windows in my neighbor's houses. specifically Dee from across the street, the trashy people who LOVE to use their leaf blower (who the hell ever heard of using it to blow snow out of your driveway! for god sake's you trash ass motherfuckers!!!!), and Vic (the gardening, toothless, pipe smoker) and Fran who never acknowledged the very nice gift of applebutter I gave them for x-mas.
2) eat delicious lunch and hit Selective Video to buy things needed to rape people.
3) late afternoon of shooting random people.
4) spend early evening going from bar to bar getting into fights.
4)late evening of raping women. - finish by eating pecanbon.

I feel bad just writing this, but these are things that you just can't do in the real world and in my day of consequences even if I get caught by the police I will wake up in my own bed and none of it will have happened at all.

Day 2- thursday - carb count 19

Breakfast – 2

Lunch – 4

Dinner – 13

Missed Carb Opportunities:

Midwest Airlines warm chocolate chip cookie, R’s delicious caramelized onions with my dinner

Interesting things for you to know:

Willy St coop doesn’t have a good meat selection. I wanted steak, but had to settle for chicken/turkey sausages. Which were delicious, but not steak. I realize it is probably obvious that Willy St Coop wouldn’t have a wide meat selection.

Day Summary:

Good day. I was riding high on my low breakfast and lunch counts, and then dinner got a bit high for me… close to the wire, but I think I was generous with my counting, so I am sure I was under.

notes from the airport

Airports are odd places to be. It is even more odd since they don't allow people in here unless they have a ticket. and aren't on the TSA list.
Some of these people have to be on the list. I just know it.

other thoughts:
airport bathroom stalls - I can not gracefully exit a small bathroom stall at the airport with my roller bag and backpack. I get in there fine, but then I have to do some crazy leg manuevering to get the door open (it opens in, invariably) and get the suitcase out. 9 times out of 10 I end up straddling the toilet and my calves touch it. yuck. plus, I then have to sort of shove my bag out of the stall first. If anyone has any suggestions for better ways to execute this manuever I am open for suggestions.

open letter to the Chinese people gathered around a computer in front of me:
Hi, I want you to enjoy your time in the Milwaukee airport. I do. But, I also want to NOT have to listen to your DVD play on your computer. They are "personal computers" for a reason, we all don't want to listen to it. Buy some of those headphones with splitters.
Cell phone technology has progressed to the point where you don't have to shout. But, I understand why you thought you needed to shout given the crazy noises coming from your DVD playing on your laptop. Pause works on laptops too.
Just saying!
Lucia.

Today's art

Here is what I doodled today. Don't ask about the disparate (sp?) themes. I don't know.

Day 1 Wednesday- Success - 17 carbs

Breakfast – 2

Lunch – 7

Dinner – 8

Missed Carb Opportunities:

· I went through my on site food supply. I didn’t have to throw anything away, but the following items had to go into hiding: 2 Lean Cuisine frozen meals (10 and 12 carbs), 2 servings of barley/vegetable soup (14), almond cookies (7), and GoLean (20) and All Bran (7) cereal boxes.

· Delicious thin, crispy onion rings that accompanied my steak unrequested

· When traveling for work, 4 dollar lattes are practically free. Except carb-wise.

Interesting things for you to know:

1) An egg has ½ carb. They aren’t “free”

2) Bacon and massive bone-in ribeye steaks are “free” – bacon is possibly the single biggest reason why Atkins is such a popular diet.

3) Cheese – more carbs the softer the cheese is. Don’t go low fat, it has more carbs. In fact that is a rule of thumb. If they take out the fat, they put in sugar.

Day Summary:

The first day is always good and bad. It is good because your resolve is fresh. Bad because your body is still in glucose lovin mode. And my cells love them some glucose.

conference call art

Carb Counter

http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/index.html

A challenge for myself

I want to be harder on myself than others. I want to improve over time. I try to spot my own personality flaws and work on them. Sometimes I spot them, but can't help myself.
A good example:
I am competative. It drives me like nothing else. I create competitions where there are none.
I try to be the best dressed person in all of Dayton, OH.
When invited to a party I am secretly trying to have the best gift, the most eaten dish, and the funniest stories.
I am ashamed to admit that I like beating people. Even in charity events.
I try to hide it, but am probably very transparent in my need to compete. I have seen several instances where people didn't invite me to participate in something, likely because I am going to make it into a competition. I understand.
The reason I bring this up -my friend 11 Frogs was doing something very nice for herself - trying to be a vegan for two weeks, and a vegetarian for Lent. This is nice and good and she has done a pretty good job laying bare her progress and small set backs on her blog.
I hate myself. But I want to try something similar to see if I can do better than her. Egads man, what is wrong with me? 11Frogs, this isn't about you and I am sorry. You have done an admirable job. I have some internal defect that forces me to do this.
Why would I even put this on this blog? Perhaps I hoped to absolve some guilt by publically declaring that I am a jerk. But mostly I have to have someone to judge my success, it is part of the competativeness. I couldn't just do this secretly because no one would acknowledge my success. I can't just tell R and have him judge me. I have realized that he has virtually no competativeness and will often tell me whatever I want to hear.
Also, I think that a blow by blow account will be funny.
I am not going vegan because I like having animals work for me. It pleases me. If I could get those damn dogs to carry the groceries up the stairs, believe me....
I am going to stay below 20 carbohydrates per day from today through March 6. That is 15 days. I have something on March 2 and I would like to eat and drink freely, so I will take off from 6pm to midnight.
If you think this will be easy, you are silly. take a look at everything you eat - a typical slice of bread 15 carbs - one can of Coke - like 32 carbs - worst of all, beer - my favorite beer, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale is 12 carbs.

To keep me honest I will tell you all the carbs I eat each day and all of the delicious things I missed during the day.