tell me I was dreaming

In the 4 hrs of sleep I managed to allow myself last night, I dreamt that I was accepted to SSPP (dream school) but I answered the phone groggy, with a froggy (Kermit?) voice, and asked the director to hold on for 30 seconds while I woke myself up. She practically rescinded the offer.

In real life, I woke up at 4:40am groggy and assuming 20 minutes until the first call. Like, surely East Coast directors have been dreaming of me for the past 3 months and biding their time until 8am EST on May 2. I have been a bit cocky in this process since being told I'm a good application-putter-together.

By 6:30 I had worked out the froggy voice and decided to move onto other morning activities that use my mouth. As I spit the last toothpaste residue from my mouth (this is another reason I don't blog. Who wants to know this minutiae?), the phone rang. I didn't recognize the area code so I figured it was "Graduate Housing for $600 a Month" (the only other East Coast school that would be calling). But hark the herald angels sing-- it's the "SSPP" director calling from her cell phone. She apologizes for waking me up and tells me she is delighted to offer me a position! The admissions committee all thought I would be a great fit! (And, I think, that works for me because your MD and PhD programs are so highly esteemed.) She said she had been trying to hold off on calling me until a reasonable hour. I think she was trying to make me sweat. Playing hard to get-- another quality I like in men and grad schools.

When I logged on to Gmail to blog, I saw the acceptance email from "Putter-Together" and frankly, I scoffed.  It's not even personalized; it's one of those "Dear Candidate" emails.  The next steps feel rather anticlimactic from my high horse. If and when I have to reject the "Knockout" offer for the more lucrative and equal caliber SSPP offer, that will be what hurts me inside. It's not you, KO... but it's not me either. It's just all about the Benjamins.

It looks as though we will be making an early return to your regularly scheduled Lucia programming.