sir, you are killing me.

I didn't think it could get worse.

But it just did. (please note that I am at least 6 yards from this girl)

 

The girl:

“when we get back you are going to be so hard – my boyfriend, I was staying in his parents hotel room, we went into the bathroom, well we didn’t have sex, I wouldn’t let him have sex, but let’s say I helped him out”

“we had sex like every day for the 20 or so days he was back, like twice a day sometimes. That is why I was afraid when I took that pregnancy test. I took one like five days ago, but that was just a warm up, this one was the real one”

“I was like, you wouldn’t have to throw me down the stairs, I would jump. I ain’t not ready to have no babies”

 

Finally, she said something I agreed with.

airport fun

So, today in the airport, I got to sit next to 6 “army” recruits on their way to basic training. I put army in quotes b/c I think the Army would be ashamed of these idiots. Also, the one girl should immediately be reprimanded and sent to do 100 pushups. She was obnoxious and discussed the following:

1)       “I hope they have some pretty girls, I mean I am not a lesbian, but I don’t like ugly girls, I mean like butch girls. I dated a girl in high school” – which then launched the obnoxious boys in a discussion about carpet eating.

2)      “okay mister married, you can’t check out hot girls so shut up”

3)      With her mouth open and chewing McDonalds French fries audibly (I simply couldn’t look at her any more) “how come we don’t get to be part of a battalion” – some guy says “because you are part of the transportation company” and she says (so intelligently) “that sounds homo”

4)      “I am going to drive the shit out of that truck”

5)      “Okay, I could throw up now”

6)      “Hey come here” – the guy leans over – she belches in his ear.

 

I am thinking about moving.