Essay Tuesday - Prove how uncool you are

This is the latest of the series - Essay Tuesdays. This week's topic: Prove how uncool you are.

There have got to be plenty of things that prove how uncool I am. But, I am uncool in a way that makes me think that the uncool things I do make me cool in a "I don't care what other people think of me" sort of way.
This is likely not true. I imagine watching someone that looks like me doing the things that I do and it is then that I realize that I look like an unattractive buffoon most of the time.

Things I do that are uncool:
1) I don't get facebook. It makes me uncomfortable that these people are asking to be my friend that I barely ever talk to (J - this is not you, I am talking about some work people), and I don't like asking people to be my friend. I find it all very creepy.
2) I knit, can, garden, clean my house, and cook as recreational activities. Sometimes I think that I would have made a rockin good frontier wife.
3) I listen to uncool music. This includes random singer-songwriters, country music, and a bunch of CDs that my mother likes (Carole King, James Taylor, Jim Croce, Bread, John Denver, Eagles GH1, and Carly Simon) No one likes Bread. except me.
4) I have this dance I do. It is crazy, but somehow it releases endorphins in my body and it just makes me gleeful. I look like an idiot doing it, but I will demo it for nearly anyone.
5) I am constantly covered in dog hair, and don't make much of an attempt to remove it. or apologize for it.

Things that I do that I *think* are cool, but are likely very uncool
1) I write this blog.
2) I have two dogs.
3) I once had a dog, a fish and a pumpkin named George at the same time.
4) I like my job. even if it is hard and it drives me nuts.
5) I have worms in my basement
6) I think in lists. I bullet or diagram all of my thoughts, even on things like designs for my living room decor, or vacation planning.
7) I drink bourbon on the rocks.

I got to here on writing this essay and I felt like there was more to say. On the nature of the word "cool", on who judges this, on how something that makes one person cool can come off distinctly uncool on another, etc. However, rather than really thinking all of this out, jotting notes down on a piece of paper and sorting them into a really cohesive and structured essay, I searched the internet for: What makes you cool?
The result was a bit disturbing. I got a list on some x-box internet site from teenage boys (it includes many many many references to their genitals), sunglasses, a good cell phone, listening to cool music, a MySpace group that forces you to prove how cool you are, and then a discussion of some book called The Tipping Point on how new ideas become widely accepted.

I don't know what this all means, except that the internet doesn't have a good criteria list of cool things that I could check off.