BTUs

Things I found out about BTUs:

1. 1 BTU = 1 055.05585 joules. - since joules are a measure of energy, BTUs must be a measure of energy not heat.
2. Since joules are the metric system version, this means that BTUs are the foot equivalent of the meter. or, for you SAT freaks: BTUs are to joules as _____ are to meters.
3. Neither of these are really helping me understand my grill's BTU number (and more importantly, that crucial brat explosion problem) - then I find this: A BTU is defined as the amount of heat required to raise the temperature of one pound of water by one degree Fahrenheit. ---- okay, if I had a pound of water on the grill at 0 degrees F, could I raise the temperature to 45,000? over how much time? this dosn't seem right. (and then the amount of heat, not energy?)
4. When checking the Wikipedia article for BTU (PS, there are no articles for my last name at all. If any of you adoring fans want to do up a brief description of me I could be persuaded to grant the necessary permissions) I spot something potentially bad for my number 3:

In North America, the term
"BTU" is used to describe the heat value (energy content) of fuels, and
also to describe the power of heating and
cooling systems, such as furnaces, stoves, barbecue grills, and air
conditioners. When used as a unit of power, BTU per hour (BTU/h) is
understood,
though this is often confusingly abbreviated to just
"BTU"

And now honestly, I reach what I like to call my intelligence
equilibrium. I am smart enough to 1) realize I am not doing this right 2) realize I am not
going to shed more clarity on this topic 3) understand this if someone else
explained it to me.

But, I am not smart enough to remember what I learned in chemistry
or physics about this sort of thing, and not smart enough to piece it together
from various internet resources.

Overall, this equillibrium can be summed up as this: I am smart
enough to want to know, but not smart enough to actually know.

What did I learn about BTUs? not much. Perhaps live field experiments on those brats this summer will shed more light on the BTU puzzle.

Hey everyone, you are invited over to my house for some cookouts. Bring brats!